


father issues

by Emountain



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, F/F, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Lucia Lives, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-27 03:10:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18189008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emountain/pseuds/Emountain
Summary: Juliana never really felt like she had a father. At least not if you consider a father a loving, supportive figure.The image she has of her dad is one she associates with violence and fear, one she has wanted to distance herself from her whole life.How will she cope with the fact that her dad's girlfriend now lives in the same body of a man that haunts her nightmares?





	father issues

**Author's Note:**

> I kept thinking about the fact that in canon, the fact that Juls now has to have her in-law in the body of her father is never really discussed.  
> I wanted to explore how she would react to this immediately post canon, since we never really see them interact, and we only know that she and Val are still together after the time jump. I thought it would be something that would affect her, considering that El Chino constantly abused her and her mother.  
> Also Lucía lives because how could the writer kill her?!?!

Juliana never really felt like she had a father. At least not if you consider a father a loving, supportive figure.  
Back in the trailer park she felt constantly tense. Living with her father was like living next to a ticking bomb without a timer attached to it, you never really knew when he was going to explode. 

Sometimes it was because she was being too loud, sometimes, too quiet. He would complain that Juliana had a “judgy” look on her face and reprimand her for her insolence. Maybe there wasn’t any beer left in the freezer or her mom had failed to have dinner ready for whenever he decided to come home. Whatever it was that triggered him, he would often have explosive reactions. 

Juliana had learned to flinch at the sound of his voice rising. He would grab her by her arms or by her chin for emphasis so that she would learn some respect. If he felt like he wasn’t imposing his authority enough, he would throw things and make a mess that Lupita and Juliana would have to clean afterwards.  
Juliana’s arms were constantly bruised because of this. It was custom that if there was screaming in the Valdés house you would see the ladies sporting long sleeves the next morning. Sometimes you could spot deep, angry hickeys on Lupita’s neck as well. 

The worst part about Juliana’s dad was that you couldn’t predict when he would explode next. There were days where he could come in a good mood, taking a beer from the fridge himself, complimenting her mom on her good looks and maybe even giving Juliana a rough kiss on the top of her head while tousling her hair, or giving her money to go “buy herself something nice”, only to end up a drunk and screaming mess that would drag Lupita to their room by her hair while a horrified Juliana tried really hard to muffle with a pillow the sounds coming behind the locked door.  
Anything could rouse him, really. One time Juliana clicked on her ballpoint pen “too loudly” while doing her school homework and he ended up breaking the new dishes her mom had just bought the week before, all because “she had no respect for his resting time”.  
It seemed like everything Juliana did could be an excuse for him to throw a tantrum. So she learned to make herself small, invisible. She became a master at being in a room without being noticed because she knew what any wrong movement at the wrong time meant for her mom and herself. While Chino was inside their house she wouldn’t have a moment of peace, and even when he wasn’t there she would constantly fear for his mood when he returned.

When she was younger she allowed herself to yearn for her father’s approval. To treasure those days where he would come home in a good mood bringing some KFC for them to eat something different than their usual food bought from the clearance section at the supermarket, while he happily drank some beer on the sofa by himself. No yelling or pushing. That’s why it was so heartbreaking when the next day he would come home and ask Lupita to ‘shut her up because her voice annoyed him and if she didn’t do it he would be forced to put some discipline in his own house’. She thought that she could make her father like her by virtue of doing whatever she thought would annoy him the least and that that would be able to bring back the father she had created in her head and wanted him to be. One of those fathers that walked by the street holding their little girls in their arms. Protective and nurturing. 

It took her many years of random anger attacks and mistreatment to understand that no matter how hard she tried, her father would never really care for her or her mom. He was a mean drunk that ruined most of their days and Juliana found herself wishing for him to be gone for good whenever he went on those long trips where he wouldn’t return home for days. She never really understood why he kept coming back either, since he seemed to loathe their presence so much. 

Juliana grew up and understood that her father was someone not to be trusted, so every time she spent with him she would wish for him to be gone with all her might, hating him for putting her mom through so much anguish and occupying their space, demanding their service when he never seemed to bring to their house anything but trouble. She hated him so much that she thought she could burst from the hot venom spreading through her veins every time she saw him. More than once she wished to knock him in the head with some kitchen utensil while he slept when she would notice a new bruise forming on her mom’s body. She never did though. She knew that would only cause more trouble in their house. So whenever he was around she would put on her earphones and try to be invisible, to forget his presence and to immerse herself in a world where he couldn’t hurt them anymore. 

After living with her dad for most of her life Juliana couldn’t imagine anything worse than having to grow up with a parent like him. That was until she met Valentina. Sweet, selfless and oh so loving Valentina. She had grown up with everything she could ever need; money, a bright future and loving parents. Her bubbly, trusting personality reflected the fact that she had been spoiled her whole life, she had everything good thrown at her and so she couldn’t fathom not being as good with everything and everyone around her. She found joy in giving back to others. That’s why it was so tragic when she had to see a parent die not once, but two times. Valentina had to see her family fall apart and try to reconstruct itself twice, and in the process she was left behind, forgotten and sometimes uncared for. She never lost that bright and giving spirit but Juliana could see that she now had a permanent gaping hole in her chest that was never going to fully heal. 

She wondered what was worse, having an awful dad or having an amazing one, but having him taken away from you. She couldn’t decide, her fear of being hurt had made her close up her heart from a very young age so she never really allowed herself to love as deeply and fully as Valentina did, because she feared that inevitable time when everything good was going to be taken from her. Or at least that was what she thought, until she found that Val had made her way into her chest and had burrowed herself deeply in there.  
Juliana suddenly let herself dream about a future as long as Val was there with her. She craved her touch and her smiles like she needed oxygen and even though she was still scared of letting herself go, of opening up and getting hurt, she knew that she was willing to take the fall as long as Valentina was there to catch her. She wanted to, maybe not close the hole she had in her chest, but surround it with feelings so beautiful that the pain they had left there wouldn’t be so unbearable.  
That’s why when Valentina had come to her house to tell her that her dad was still alive, that his soul had transmigrated to another body, she had responded, well, with incredulity at first, but also with happiness. She wanted nothing more that for Val to be happy, she deserved to be. And that’s why when she told her that the body her dad had transmigrated into was none other than Chino’s she didn’t even stop to consider what that would mean for her at that moment. And she didn’t stop to consider it while they fought about wanting to be together but not being able to, or when Valentina suddenly declared that she was in love with her on national television, and definitely not when a tousled Val suddenly appeared at her door and they kissed because at that moment words just weren’t enough. And when they finally came up for air they talked about everything but that subject because Juls was in such a happy place that she didn’t even think about it. They wanted to be together and the universe finally seemed to align as to let that happen, so they cried happy tears and went to sleep that night to their respective houses with a warm feeling in their chests. In fact, Juliana was so happy that that thought didn’t cross her mind until one night Valentina said something that filled her with dread.

“Yeah, Lucia is finally being discharged from the hospital.” Valentina chirped happily through the phone. “It was about time, I don’t think it was healthy for dad’s back to be sleeping on a couch every single night. Also, I think my back is about to give out as well, I’ve been helping Chivis prepare the house all day so it’s clean when they arrive tonight.”

These past couple weeks had been hectic for Valentina. Between Eva being taken to jail, her house being surrounded by cops 24/7 after Johnny’s shooting and Lucia’s stay at the ICU, Val had barely had time to visit Juliana. She would escape at every chance she got but Juls was still craving for things to finally settle down so she could spend much needed uninterrupted time with her girlfriend. Girlfriend. Thinking of Val as her girlfriend immediately made her flash a smile alone in her room, the giddiness she felt every time she thought about it made her want to jump in joy, she just couldn’t believe that after all that pain things had finally worked out for them. 

“...so yeah Guille and I were talking and we thought it would be nice to prepare some kind of welcome dinner tomorrow for my dad and Lucia. We could make the house look pretty and you could help me decorate and Renata would be here too and…”

“Wait, what?” Juliana suddenly snapped out of her thoughts. 

“Yeah Juls, you have taste decorating. See how you turned your horrifying room into like a fashion show backstage thing? You would be great!” Valentina said with a laugh.

“No, I mean, you want me to go to your house?”

“Uh, yeah? Guille is bringing Renata as well. It could be like a family reunion! We have never had the chance to hang out together. It’s about time you meet Lucia and Renata and my dad.” Juliana could hear the excitement in her voice. “I can’t wait for you to meet my dad, I’m pretty sure he’s gonna love you.”

“Uh..” 

“Ugh, Juls, Montilla is here again with more questions. When will this investigation end?” Valentina groaned. “Anyways, talk to you later?” 

“Eh.. Yeah, of course.”

“Ok bye.” And then she added softly, “Can’t wait to see you.”

Juliana didn’t have time to respond that she couldn’t wait to see her as well, as she heard Val being taken away by the cops to be questioned. But for the first time ever she didn’t know if that was true at all. She felt as if her veins had been filled with lead, cold and slow-moving, making her body suddenly feel heavier. The thought had never crossed her mind before but she suddenly realized what seeing Vals dad meant. She tried to push the growing panic in her chest away. Vals dad wasn’t her father, she tried to think logically. he may have El Chino’s body but it wasn’t him, it was León, loving and doting father León.  
Juliana tried to keep the rational thoughts flowing in her head but the only thing she could see, the only thing she could feel, was that primal fear that coursed through her system whenever her dad looked her in the eyes, angry, and she knew what was about to come. She suddenly felt like the air was missing from the room, she was drowning. She needed air.  
Juliana barged from her room towards the tiny balcony that they had in their apartment and opened the sliding doors quite brusquely. She grabbed the railing tight while she fought for more oxygen to enter her system.

“Juli? Are you ok?” Juliana heard her mother’s voice as if it came from far, far away.

“Juliana!”

Lupe ran towards her daughter and yanked her fists from the railing. Juliana turned around while Lupe wrapped her tightly in her arms. 

“What happened mija? You’re trembling!” 

Juliana wasn’t able to answer right away so she just hugged her mother tighter until she felt like her breathing started evening out. She stayed a few more seconds listening to her mom’s heartbeat, trying to calm herself down, then she slowly removed herself from their embrace and when she finally looked up she was met with her mother’s worried gaze.

“Juli?”

“I’m- I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened.” 

“Baby you are as white as a sheet, it looks like you saw a ghost.”

“I- Val told me she wanted me to go to a dinner in her house with her parents.”

“What- Oh..” The realization dawned on Lupe. “You are going to see Chino.” She stated knowingly. “I thought you had made your peace with him?”. 

“I thought I did too. I don’t know, it’s dumb.” She exhaled in frustration. “It’s not even him who I’m going to see, just his body. It’s just so dumb-” 

“I get it”

“What?” 

“I get it. I don’t think it matters how many times he tries to redeem himself.” Lupe said with a somber look. “Sometimes I wake up running to make breakfast because I know what happens when I don’t make it in time.. before I remember where I am.”

“Mom…” Juliana had no idea her mother had been having those nightmares.

“I don’t think it’s that easy to forgive what he did to us mija. He may have changed bodies but those memories still have the same face, and even though we may try to make things ok with him again, the past is hard to erase.” 

“I suppose.” She thought for a moment. “But it’s not like I can actually be afraid of him my whole life. He’s my girlfriends father!” Lupe smiled. 

“Maybe we are lucky in a way. This could help us heal, create new memories so that his face has no control over us anymore.”

“You think so?”

“I do.” She caressed her daughters cheek. “But Juli?”

“Yeah?”

“You have to tell Valentina.”

Juliana took a deep breath. Her mother was right. 

 

\---------------------------

 

Juliana tried to keep her nerves at bay while approaching the Carvajal mansion. Alirio had picked her up about ten minutes ago at her house and they still had about twenty more until they reached Valentina’s house. Her mother and Panchito had seen her off with a supportive hug. Remember mija, don’t let him have more power over you. Call me if you need anything. Juliana was trying really hard to keep her mother’s words in mind but the more they advanced the heavier this feeling of dread in her chest grew.  
They finally reached the side of the city where there were bigger and sparser houses, with beautiful gardens and expensive cars parked everywhere. At last, other houses stopped appearing as they entered what Juliana knew was the Carvajal lands. The car started going through a rocky pathway until it stopped in front of a big, ornate door. They had arrived.  
The guards opened the door and the Carvajal mansion appeared before her eyes. The first thing Juliana saw was Valentina waving at them excitedly by the front steps of the house. She looked beautiful, wearing an elegant sky blue jumper. It was obvious she was really looking forward to this dinner since this last few days, with all the chaos surrounding her life, she had only cared about her physical appearance minimally. But now she looked radiant.  
Seeing her put a small smile in Juliana’s face and made the knot in her stomach loosen a little, but just a little.  
Valentina ran towards the door of the car and opened it before Alirio could even get out. She helped Juliana, who was wearing high heels with the same black dress Valentina had gifted her when they started to become friends, get down the high steps towards the ground.  
A soft “what a gentlelady” was all she could muster with her nerves before Valentina pulled her in for a hug. Juliana concentrated on Vals smell while they were hugging, normally it would awake something warm in the pit of her belly and she would get intoxicated by it, but now she used it to ground herself, to remember why she was doing this. They parted and then, with a huge grin on her face, Val said,

“Why do you always look so beautiful?” And then she leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the lips. It was the first time she and Valentina had kissed in front of other people, without having to hide. Val laughed and then pointed to the chauffeur “Thanks for bringing her Alirio! I’ll get you the biggest slice of cake I can find.” 

And with that she grabbed Juls by the hand and lead her inside the mansion. 

“You have to see what Renata and I did with the dining room, I would’ve loved it if you were here when we started decorating this whole thing but we’re still doing the final touches,” Val was blabbing excitedly while leading Juls to the kitchen, “Mateo trying to fold the napkins into duck shapes it’s just hilarious.” Juliana was only half listening to what Val was saying. She kept looking around the halls of the house, bracing herself in the case El Chin- León, decided to make a sudden appearance. Pull it together Juliana, she thought, but she had to ask.

“Where are Lucia and your dad?” 

“Oh! My dad is helping Lucia take a bath, they got in just before you arrived.” Juliana sighed relieved, she was really dreading that encounter, but the more time it passed the more she felt her composure slip away. 

They finally arrived to the kitchen where a bunch of people were decorating some plates and trying to, and apparently failing at, folding some napkins in some weird intricate shape, obviously Vals idea. The only person Juliana recognized, apart from the staff, was Guille, Vals brother, who pulled her in for a hug with a “Cuñada!”. Vals laughed and proceeded to introduce Juliana to Renata and Mateo.  
It all passed like a blur, Juliana tried her best to be nice and open to these people who obviously meant a lot for Valentina, they were her family after all, so she made an effort to be as nice and open as possible. It wasn’t that hard, really. Seeing Valentina positively beam at the sight of her family interacting with her, something she craved for so long to do without judgement, was truly a powerful motivator, so Juliana swallowed her nerves and socialized with the people at the kitchen for an unknown amount of time until Juls heard Vals yell “Dad!”. 

Juliana turned around so fast that she spilled a little bit of the juice she was carrying onto the kitchen floor. 

There he was. León entered the kitchen while pushing a blond lady in a wheelchair. Who Juliana assumed was Vals stepmom, Lucía. He smiled widely as his youngest daughter wrapped, or more accurately, tackled him into a hug. 

He looked very different from the last time Juls had seen him, when he was rescuing her from La Sierra cartel and she still thought he was her father. The memory of that incident made her shiver. His face now had a clean shave and he was sporting a new haircut and a bright, elegant suit. But even the change of outfit couldn’t distract her from the fact that _this _was her father’s body. The same athletic build that could push her and lift her up so easily. Those muscled arms and strong hands that had made contact with her skin many times before. That handsome face that could to an enraged state so easily.__

__Valentina separated from their hug and excitedly looked back and motioned for Juliana to come over to them. “Dad, there’s someone I want you to meet.”  
Juls was frozen, she couldn’t move. Her mouth felt heavy with sand and she started feeling a cold sweat run down her back.  
León reacted quicker than she did though, and walked around Lucía’s wheelchair until he was in front of her. 

__“Juliana Valdés. We’ve met before but I guess I never introduced myself properly. This isn’t the most common situation.” The same voice that would often scream at her, Juliana thought. He extended his hand towards her, “León Carvajal.”_ _

__Juliana fought her immediate instinct to step away from him and shook his hand, hoping he wouldn’t notice her trembling. “Hi, um. Nice to meet you.” She wasn’t able to look him in the eye._ _

__“So I hear you’re the one making my daughter so happy lately. Guess that makes you family now.” Juliana finally looked up at his words. He was smiling softly, giving her a gentle look, somehow thankful that she had been the one making his girl happy when he couldn’t. His gaze was radically different from Juliana’s own father. She found relief in that, tried to hold on to that fact. _It’s not him _.___ _

____She looked to the side to see Val grinning so big that her eyes were barely visible and it looked like her cheeks would burst from being so stretched. She looked back at León._ _ _ _

____“Thank you.” She said simply._ _ _ _

____He suddenly gestured to the woman behind him in a wheelchair. “Let me introduce you to my wife, Lucía.” They exchanged formalities. Lucía wasn’t Vals mom, but she sure seemed proud of her as she greeted Juliana. She grabbed her hands lovingly with frail strength. Surviving a shooting was no small feat and she was still recovering. “It’s so lovely to have you here.” Juls felt her cheeks burn. All this people seemed to be genuinely happy to have her here as Vals girlfriend. She wasn’t used to this much attention._ _ _ _

____“Well Juliana, we ought to get to know each other better,” Said León. “but right now i’m starving. Shall we begin the welcome dinner that my lovely kids prepared for us?”_ _ _ _

____They all started heading towards the dining room. León gently put his hand on Juliana’s back to guide her there and she felt a shiver run up her spine. “You go first.”_ _ _ _

____Juliana walked towards Valentina, who was jumping a little of how excited she was. She grabbed Juls hand while she squealed._ _ _ _

____“So that was definitely a successful meet the in-laws right?” She said to her ear while they walked towards the table. She loved to see Valentina so happy, so she swallowed down the chills that seemed to have gotten to her bones and she repeated to herself._ _ _ _

_____It’s not him. It’s not him. It’s not him._ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______\---------------------------_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______The dinner passed relatively quickly to Juliana. Valentina had clearly put an effort into making sure that everything was perfect, to the decoration in the dining table to the food. She tried her best to be as pleasant as possible with everyone but she was definitely relieved to not be the only newcomer, as Renata was having dinner with the family for the first time as well. That way everyone’s attention wasn’t focused solely on her._ _ _ _ _ _

______Every now and then Juliana would sneak a glance to Vals father, almost expecting to see bits of the old Chino slip through. He wasn’t talking much, mostly interested in hearing what his talkative kids and wife had to say. He had a nostalgic expression in his face, taking in the fact that they were really there, having dinner with him as a family. But he seemed kind of sad too. At one point he looked over to Mateo, Eva’s husband, who was also particularly quiet. As happy and cheerful as this scene was, Juliana knew that this family still had a lot to heal from._ _ _ _ _ _

______León seemed to want to know more about his kids new girlfriends so every once in a while he would ask Juls or Renata a question. At first she would flinch at the sound of his voice, feeling panic rise to her throat, but as the dinner progressed the fact that León’s mannerisms were so different from her own father’s helped to calm her down. _I’ve got this. _She thought. _I’m not gonna give Chino power over me, he’s not here anymore. _______ _ _ _ _

__________After the dinner was finished everyone transferred to the living room next to the fireplace and started talking in small groups. Juliana finally felt like she was letting herself relax. She was telling Lucía about her plans to apply for fashion college again, and could see Val talking with Guille and Renata, a few steps away smiling brightly at her. She felt warm inside, it dawned on her for the first time that this was their new reality, that they could finally be out as a couple and that people would accept them. There were no more threatening family members or abusive ex boyfriends to get in their way. She smiled to herself, deep in her thoughts, nodding while Lucía explained how she had to be careful to not be discouraged by all the rich kids who were going to study with her, that what really mattered was her talent, when suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder and heard a deep, familiar voice say “Juliana.” by her ear._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Her body reacted before her mind could even comprehend what was happening. The only thing that was flashing through her system was danger, she had to get him away from her as soon as possible. She turned around, her arms moved with a will on their own and the next thing she knew she was blindly swinging the glass of non-alcoholic bubbly she had in her hands towards the voice, anything to stop him from touching her. The glass shattered on contact with his skin, making a sharp noise. Suddenly, the room fell quiet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Juliana looked around her, at the shocked faces of everyone, and the reality of what had happened crashed through her. She looked ahead of her and saw a bewildered León, part of his suit stained with the drink Juliana had thrown at him. Then she noticed the scarlet liquid dripping from his hands, where she had hit him with the glass._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Juls?” She heard Valentina said, her voice trembling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Juliana didn’t turn to face her girlfriend and instead turned on her heels and left the room. She didn’t know were she was going, she just knew that she had to get away from there. _What had she done? _Things were finally looking great for her and Val and she had to go there and _ruin _it. All because she wasn’t able to control her stupid, irrational feelings. She couldn’t see where she was going. She scrubbed her eyes with her hands and they came back wet. Once she realized she was crying there was no going back, she felt a knot in her throat break and suddenly a sob escaped her lips. She started running faster until she felt a door to her right and she blindly entered a dark room.  
Once inside she put her back against the door and broke down. The sobs now escaped her lips freely as her chest moved heavily up and down in the middle of broken cries.  
She was _so _stupid. How could she do something like that? She had ruined the dinner Val had put so much effort into. The one where she would have her whole family reunited for the first time ever. This was Juls one chance to make a good impression. After all they had gone through one would think she would be smart enough to not get people against their relationship again, but here she was, throwing glasses at her father and making a scene in front of everyone._______ _

________________She cried bitterly until she felt a soft knock at the door. She tried to stop her sobs to no avail. The last thing she wanted was to be seen crying in front of Vals family._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Juls I know you’re in there” It was Valentina. “Please, let me in?” She added softly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________She didn’t answer, couldn’t answer, but she scooted her body away from the door and leaned against a wall. A ray of light suddenly illuminated the dark room as Vals head poked through the door, her expression unreadable to Juliana as she took in the view in front of her: Juliana curled up on the floor, crying._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I’m so- so sorry.” escaped from Juliana’s lips as she cried. “I’m sorry for ruining everything Val.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Val didn’t say anything. She leaned down until she was at Juliana’s level. They stayed like that for a little while. Juliana trying to calm down her crying, not daring to look her in the eye, and Val in front of her, quiet. Then, Val raised her hands to Juls face and tilted it up so she could see her in the eye. What she saw shocked Juls. Valentina’s eyes were bloodshot red, a stream of tears running down her face quietly. _Why was she crying?__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Hear me out,” Said Val, her voice trembling “Don’t- don’t you dare apologize, ok?” Juliana looked at her incredulous._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“I’m the one who should be apologizing. I can’t believe I-” And with that she broke down crying. Juls immediately run her hands up and down Vals arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“No Val I-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“-No Juls!” She interrupted, raising her voice a little. “You didn’t see your face. When my dad touched your arm you looked like a scared animal who’d just been cornered.” Juliana lowered her head at that, ashamed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“...Then it dawned on me. I can’t believe I never even stopped to consider that he has your dad’s face.” She held back a sob and then looked at Juliana directly in the eyes. “I’m _so _sorry Juls, I was so stupid.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Val he’s your dad, not mine, I shouldn’t have reacted that way I-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Juls look at me; what happened between you and him was awful, he was awful. Those things aren’t forgotten that easily.” She wiped a couple of tears on Juls cheeks with her thumbs. “I’m sorry, I should have known this wasn’t going to be easy for you. I was _so _happy to finally have everyone I love in a room that I didn’t stop to consider what that could entail.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Everyone you love?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Val gave her a small smile “Yeah, everyone I love. I love you Juls. I just wanted to share with everyone how amazing you are.” She laughed a little. “It seemed too selfish to have you all for myself.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________At that, Juls laughed a wet laugh, delighted, with tears still in her face. She leaned and connected her lips to Valentina’s as an answer. Val moved her hands in her face to her hair and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. Juls hands flew to Vals hips, wanting to feel all of her. Valentina moved her legs until she was sitting on Juls lap, pressing her entire body against her. They kissed for a while, their lips salty from their tears, breathing each other in, the tension from the past hours disappearing from their bodies, finding solace in the way their tongues danced against each other._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________After a bit they came out for air, Val pressed her forehead against Juls, breathing heavily. They stayed like that for a while, trying to regain control over their breathing, in comfortable silence._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Juls looked at Val in the eyes “I love you too you know?” Val laughed and leaned in to give her one last peck on the lips._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Thank god. It would’ve been so awkward if this thing was one sided.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Juls rolled her eyes. “I really do. I know how important this dinner was for you. I just wanted to make you happy.” Then she added. “But then he was touching me and it was just too similar to the way Chino used to. I could almost feel the bruises forming in my arms. When my dad deigned to acknowledge my existence it was never for good things” A sob escaped her throat. She tried to clean the new tears that stained her cheeks again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Juls I truly am so sorry.” Val had a painful look in her face, as if seeing Juliana cry brought her physical pain. “You should never have been exposed to a monster like that. It makes me sick to my stomach. It’s normal for you to feel afraid around my dad. Even I think about all the things he did to you and I feel like puking. You don’t have to hang around him if you’re not ready, I understand.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“No. I mean- I think i do want to be around him.” she was certain. “I’m tired of being afraid. It’s almost as if if I manage to create new, better memories with your father I’m the one who wins you know? Because I don’t have to be afraid anymore. I take that power away from him, the power to intimidate me with his face. If I see the good in your father in the body of mine the person who appears in my nightmares won’t be the same.”  
“I do understand Juls but you don’t have to push yourself so hard. It’s ok to be afraid and to take your time with these things.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I know I want to do it.” She said, convinced. “Hiding from him will only make him bigger in my mind.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Ok, but,” Vals expression turned serious. “You don’t have to deal with your problems alone Juls. If something’s bothering you I would like you to tell me, stop locking yourself in your own feelings. We’re in this together, remember?” She extended her hand with her pinky finger sticking out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Juls laughed and linked Vals pinky with her own. Val gave her a small smile before kissing their linked hands. “You are the bravest person I know, you know that? And let me tell you, I know a lot of people who have gone through crazy things, more than enough for a lifetime.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Juliana laughed. “I mean, i’m hoping we don’t run into trouble the next couple decades. I think we deserve a rest.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“We sure do.” Valentina said, laughing as well. Then she stood up and held her arm for Juls to help her stand up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Should we come out? We could stay here longer if you need to.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Juls took her arm and stood up. “No. I have to apologize to your dad. It’s time for me to let my demons in the past.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________\---------------------------------_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Juls and Val walked down the hall, hands linked, towards the kitchen, where they were cleaning León’s cuts. Val had made sure that they didn’t run into anyone else on their way there. She knew Juls wasn’t ready to face everyone at once._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Only León and Lucía were in the kitchen. She was removing the tiny pieces of glass that had become encrusted in his hand. León winced every time a tiny a shard was removed, neither noticing the girls arrival. Juliana felt her cheeks redden with shame at the image._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Valentina cleared her throat and they both turned around at the same time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Girls…” exclaimed Lucía softly. But before she could say anything else Juliana stepped forward._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Sr. Carvajal i’m so sorry I threw that glass at you. I don’t know what came over me, it really wasn’t on purpose, I-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Juliana it’s ok.” He interrupted with a small smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Huh?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I’m the one who should be apologizing. I should have never approached you without you knowing. I know first hand what’s it like being on edge all the time. Your body has a mind on it’s own.” And then he added with a small laugh. “I kinda deserved it. Rule number one: It’s a dick move to approach someone from behind.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Juliana laughed a little at that. “It’s just- You reminded of my dad and-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I understand. I know him, and I know what he’s capable of I- I’m just sorry. I shouldn’t have sneaked up on you like that” He and Juliana locked eyes. She could see in them that León had also experienced El Chino’s anger first hand. A look of understanding passed between the two of them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Everything’s forgiven” said Juliana, to which León responded with a grateful smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“So… Now can we go back to be a happy family so that I can show off my great girlfriend and my great taste?” Said Valentina, trying to dissipate the tension in the room with a little humor. Classic Valentina style. She looked at Juliana and asked with her eyes if this was ok, if she was comfortable enough to continue. Juliana gave her a little nod._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“We the Carvajals do seem to have an exemplary taste” León suddenly said, laughing a little while looking at his wife. “I’m glad you are now part of our family Juliana.” He said, extending his hand once again to her. She looked at him in the eye, a gaze so different from what she associated with this face, not angry and rough, but gentle and good natured, almost like.. Juliana turned to look at her girlfriend, who was smiling at her, blue eyes shining, proud of her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________She turned back to León, understanding what he was doing. This was the start of a healing journey, an invitation the be a part of family, to create happy memories.  
She shook his hand. She was ready to move forward._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This is my first time writing fan fiction, so constructive criticism is always welcome :) Also my first language is Spanish, so sorry if there's any misspellings in this!


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